What’s in your closet?
Whenever asked “What’s in your closet” naturally our first response would be clothes and shoes but when taking a closer look we find there’s more.
I will be the first to admit I am a woman who loves clothes, shoes, purses, and the accessories that pulls a great look together. This leaves me having more than enough. So, with each change of the season I tackle the daunting task of ridding my closet of things I no longer want or need. But to be honest this deed brings forth anguish each time I undertake this job. My distress comes when I pull out certain garments which I continually place back in my closet year after year. I know these items are no use to me but for some reason I have a sense of comfort knowing they are safely tucked away.
While I earnestly work on my seasonal ritual God’s word “TRUST ME” while the verse from 2 Timothy "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” start to permeate deep within my soul. I quickly realize God is going to use this opportunity to do some house cleaning of His own.
He reveals, hearts are no different than closets and they too need purging. There are things within us that we treat like the articles we store season after season. We bring them out just long enough to ponder the feeling then we sadly put them back because of the sense of security they give us. This ongoing behavior can cause our souls to be a place of restlessness as we wrestle with what’s safe vs. what’s good. Over the years I have found safe does not always equal good. This can be tied back to my unstable childhood. Because growing up in a dysfunctional family the haunted memories can be as real as the day. After all the memories were not merely dreams they were actual reality. Those who were called to protect and make me feel safe did quite the opposite. So, the safety I felt became a sorted form of mistrust and fear. This warped security made it difficult to trust others and even more so to trust God. After all I could not see or touch Him; physically anyway. Not being able to actually feel someone who always has my best interest at heart was foreign to me. You might say it was a major hurdle and was something I did not understand until He proved me otherwise. He gently took my heart and held it close to His and allowed me to be loved by people who were in love with Him. I say; they exemplified His nature which allowed me to see Him for who He is. Which was not an easy task for Him or them “after all I had to care for for myself”. Right? My need to protect myself would cause me to revert back to my safe place (fear & mistrust). But with continual love from my church family and my women’s bible study group I was able to see, feel, and hear God’s truth. His love for me freed me from my fear and trust issues.
God’s purging for me now: Letting go of the fear of giving and receiving true forgiveness from damaging words and there affect from long past. Even though I thought this was something I had already dealt with God is telling me otherwise. I am still held captivate by these things. I have God who is ALL knowing and loving saying “Trust Me” and Satan’s lies filling my mind with fear and doubt once again. God knows how difficult this is going to be for me but in order for me to live freely and without blemish refining must take place.
As I write these words a lot of healing and forgiveness has already taking place. It is merely because I have trusted in Him and allowed Him to change me from the inside out, thus causing me to take the necessary steps in breaking free from such bondage. As my ongoing journey is to walk by faith and not by sight as difficult as it may be at time it will be through the course of actions that will guide me into being one step closer to God’s intended plan for my life.
I leave you with this: We all have things God has asked us to rid ourselves of so if you are struggling just as I remember the words of Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
I will be the first to admit I am a woman who loves clothes, shoes, purses, and the accessories that pulls a great look together. This leaves me having more than enough. So, with each change of the season I tackle the daunting task of ridding my closet of things I no longer want or need. But to be honest this deed brings forth anguish each time I undertake this job. My distress comes when I pull out certain garments which I continually place back in my closet year after year. I know these items are no use to me but for some reason I have a sense of comfort knowing they are safely tucked away.
While I earnestly work on my seasonal ritual God’s word “TRUST ME” while the verse from 2 Timothy "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” start to permeate deep within my soul. I quickly realize God is going to use this opportunity to do some house cleaning of His own.
He reveals, hearts are no different than closets and they too need purging. There are things within us that we treat like the articles we store season after season. We bring them out just long enough to ponder the feeling then we sadly put them back because of the sense of security they give us. This ongoing behavior can cause our souls to be a place of restlessness as we wrestle with what’s safe vs. what’s good. Over the years I have found safe does not always equal good. This can be tied back to my unstable childhood. Because growing up in a dysfunctional family the haunted memories can be as real as the day. After all the memories were not merely dreams they were actual reality. Those who were called to protect and make me feel safe did quite the opposite. So, the safety I felt became a sorted form of mistrust and fear. This warped security made it difficult to trust others and even more so to trust God. After all I could not see or touch Him; physically anyway. Not being able to actually feel someone who always has my best interest at heart was foreign to me. You might say it was a major hurdle and was something I did not understand until He proved me otherwise. He gently took my heart and held it close to His and allowed me to be loved by people who were in love with Him. I say; they exemplified His nature which allowed me to see Him for who He is. Which was not an easy task for Him or them “after all I had to care for for myself”. Right? My need to protect myself would cause me to revert back to my safe place (fear & mistrust). But with continual love from my church family and my women’s bible study group I was able to see, feel, and hear God’s truth. His love for me freed me from my fear and trust issues.
God’s purging for me now: Letting go of the fear of giving and receiving true forgiveness from damaging words and there affect from long past. Even though I thought this was something I had already dealt with God is telling me otherwise. I am still held captivate by these things. I have God who is ALL knowing and loving saying “Trust Me” and Satan’s lies filling my mind with fear and doubt once again. God knows how difficult this is going to be for me but in order for me to live freely and without blemish refining must take place.
As I write these words a lot of healing and forgiveness has already taking place. It is merely because I have trusted in Him and allowed Him to change me from the inside out, thus causing me to take the necessary steps in breaking free from such bondage. As my ongoing journey is to walk by faith and not by sight as difficult as it may be at time it will be through the course of actions that will guide me into being one step closer to God’s intended plan for my life.
I leave you with this: We all have things God has asked us to rid ourselves of so if you are struggling just as I remember the words of Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
That is so brave of you to start looking deep inside your heart and letting go of the painful past. The song and video were so moving! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, Vick! proud of you for being so transparent,allowing others to hopefully feel comfortable doing the same! You are an incredible woman of God (also very creative, I might add!) and I love you much! Keep writing! It's truly a gift you have! Love you!
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